Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Valley of the Mall Rats

I have done it. I have sold my soul to the devil. I have, for the first time ever, purchased a handbag that cost over $100.

There it is; there, that black inconspicuous looking one in the background. This picture doesn't really do it justice. But before you try and convict me, I want to attempt to defend myself.

I have spent the past few afternoons at the mall. Sounds like a nice way to pass an afternoon, right? Noon, one, two p.m. - a good time to shop: the mall is less crowded. Everyone's at school or at work, right?


Apparently there are people in this town (Roswell, GA) that do not work and do not attend school. I knew such people existed, but I had no idea they existed in such mass quantities! They shop like crazy. They go in the mall for one very specific item. They are on a mission. They have the time and the energy to go through mountains and mountains of apparel to search for that one thing they MUST have. I always wondered how housewives managed to coordinate outfits better than the First Lady of the United States. It's because they have NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT SHOP.

Granted, I did see one lady walking out of Toys R Us with a kiddie swimming pool for (I'm assuming) her kids. That's sweet. There's a Mom who gets shit done during the day. I wonder if she made at stop at Bloomingdale's on her way out of the parking lot, with the pool in her $100,000 SUV.

In Nordstrom's, there was an incredible mother-daughter pair, akin to the likes of Ivana and Ivanka Trump, or Mrs. and Paris Hilton. I'm talking bleach blonde hair, black (most likely armani) suit on the mom, and matching bleach and pounds of makeup for the girl, who looked about eighteen. She's probably 14. They were purchasing a handbag made of black leather and the most disgustingly tacky gold chains I have ever seen. No doubt the "purse" cost over $100. In fact, I was curious to see how much it did cost - the answer? $998. FOR A PURSE. As the cashier finished the transaction, I overheard the mother say, "this purse is just fantastic. It's just delicious!"

So, please. Don't be angry with me when I tell you I've spent a considerable amount of money on a bag that will hold my shit. I've been under the influence of capitalism. I've been hanging with the wrong crowd.

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